In matters of living I tend toward piecemeal pragmatism. Situations arise and are managed with as much skill and knowledge is as available at the time. However, if I were required to subscribe to a more all-encompassing philosophy, it pains me to say that there are none in existence that would satisfy me. Only a new method of perceiving the world would do, and that method would be Wyngardianism.

Our Peter, Strong and Manly. Hallowed be thy name.

The fundamental premise of Wyngardianism is that Society Today is Weak and Decadent. Surely dozens of philosophies and religions are based on that! you say. This may be, but what makes Wyngardianism unique is its response to that.

To counter a weak and decadent society, the Wyngardian chooses to embrace instead a historical period that is not weak and decadent. The Romans (at the peak of their power, before they descended into weak decadence), the Vikings, or the Incas are good examples. Once the choice is made, all that remains to be done is to model one’s life after that period, including clothing and culture. Social events which encourage (non-decadent) debauchery and pits of any nature are a strong plus; a staunch Wyngardian would consider them essential.

Lest you think that this merely involves dressing up in costumes and throwing people into lion pits, let me reassure you that there is more to it than that. Wyngardianism has a mission, and that mission is to replace said weak and decadent society with the glowing example of whichever historical period one emulates. This involves plotting and scheming and as an additional bonus provides incentive to use the lion pits.

There arises a theoretical problem wherein two Wyngardian groups vie to replace society with culturally disparate alternatives, but this should be seen as an advantage as any altercation between, say, the Aztech empire and feudal Japan could only be entertaining.

While I’m not quite ready to abandon my own way of being to become a practicing Wyngardian, even I must admit the benefits are compelling. And should you happen to visit and see a full suit of plate armor in the closet, it’s just for decoration. Oh, and don’t stand in the Circle of Justice.