By yours truly.

There once was a fellow named Paris,
Who was asked to three Goddess’ compar’st.
He chose Aphrodite,
She said “Paris Alrighty:
Go and grab lovely Helen the Fairest.”

Obeying, he travelled to Greece,
(The place with the myths and the fleece),
Though Helen was married,
To Troy she was carried,
Which seriously threatened the peace.

Her husband, the bold Menelaus:
“We must make war on the betrayers:
We can’t let this slip,
Let’s to the black ships,
And raze their town!” Thus Menelaus.

O’er the sea did the Greeks sail,
For the city of Troy to assail,
With sword, shield, and spear
For nine arduous years,
They attacked, though they did not prevail.

Achilles, a man of great might,
Would kill every Trojan in sight,
Agamemnon he did dis him,
Which managed to piss him
Enough off to no longer fight.

So Hector of Troy pressed the attack,
Since Achilles would not hold him back,
The Greeks got concerned
After they spurned
Achilles, brooding by his ships black.

Now a certain Greek hero named Pat,
Went to fight wearing Achilles’ bronze hat.
Hector said “hi!
I think you should die.”
And Patroclus died, just like that.

It ought to go without saying
That Achilles was mad at the slaying,
He put on some gear
And hoisted a spear
And went to war screaming and braying.

So it happened Hector was killed,
And had his corpse dragged through a field.
The gods they god mad
(so did Hector’s dad),
As his lifeblood had already spilled.

Priam told Achilles to chill,
That the gods were now wishing him ill,
Achilles said “right,
Angry gods I can’t fight!”
He gave Hector’s corpse back with goodwill.

Well, Achilles was killed, Troy was burned,
(A wood horse was used we have learned),
And Helen the fair,
With her bright golden hair,
Was to Menelaus returned.

Addendum, Sun, Sep 12, 2004 3:27 PM: Yes I have stairs in my house.